one thing that no one ever talks about homelessness is how it changes your relationship with permanence and “stuff and things” as i like to call it. having been functionally homeless for most of my adult life (my housing was … Continue reading
Tag: mental illness
why i’m recovery neutral-apathetic
when people hear “recovery neutral” or “recovery apathetic” they immediately assume that the person means that they simply don’t want to get better or maybe that they actively want to worsen their disorders. however, in my experience, those who are … Continue reading
the unspoken question behind self-harm
i began self-harming in infancy, before i could speak. before i could conceptualise what self-harm meant, my body and nervous system were already primed to receive regulation in the form of pain. this trend continued as i got older and … Continue reading
this blog and its author are not pro-self-harm or pro-eating disorder (but also not pro-recovery and that’s okay too)
this blog, as mentioned in the last post is going to start to contain a lot darker content than was previously put out on it. the transition from an evergreen computer blog to a personal disability narrative might be jarring, … Continue reading
in the spirit of making this feel more like a ‘mad hermit’s diary’
i’m going to just start posting, whenever, wherever. sticking to too rigid a structure for this blog sort of defeats its purpose as a living document regarding life as a disabled person in 2026 america. current narratives fail to centre … Continue reading
tolerance break is… easier than i thought it would be
i’m two days off cannabis now, planning for an 8 week tolerance break to really downregulate those cb1 receptors because i don’t get high anymore, like at all, and it fucking blows. i know i’m a medical patient and so … Continue reading
content warnings and faqs for this blog moving forward
so, as we approach the final date of the start of this project, i want to give everyone who’s been here the whole time (i know there’s a few of you and i have nothing but love for each and … Continue reading
moving the goalposts
i’m coming to the realisation that i can’t tackle everything all at once. it’s impossible to dedicate appropriate resources to large numbers of tasks. ive been trying to manage so many concurrent changes that i am basically just half-assing all … Continue reading
am i… a landmine?
so i’ve been delving into japanese mental health subcultures lately, mostly because i’ve been hearing about menhera and jirai kei in my circles and i’ve come across the term “landmine” used both as a self-descriptor and as a pejorative. for … Continue reading
i guess i have no choice but to keep moving forward whether i want to or not because god keeps rejecting me from his kingdom and satan says i have more chaos to create
this is my necessary reminder that it’s okay to go slow. it’s okay to take a break. it’s okay to take longer than other people. i was recently diagnosed with adhd. it’s something that i can say confidently i struggled … Continue reading