mental illness
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just me and my lil ed
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3–4 minutesknowing what to post on here is… hard. i want this to be a space for me to process hard feelings but i also dont want it to be a space where people are triggered and feel the need to get worse just because i myself am spiralling. i have no intention of making anyone…
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a little bit about me
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3–5 minutesi figured one thing that would be good for this blog is to really introduce myself and explain some of the purposes of this blog going forward. as mentioned before theres going to be a huge shift in what kind of stuff i post. the focus of this blog is going to be more on…
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community guidelines (last updated august 2026)
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1–2 minutesit goes without saying that there are going to be some triggering topics on this blog and some people may find the content offensive. so i think its important to establish some community guidelines. first of all this is not a pro-self-harm or pro-eating-disorder space. any comments encouraging other users to begin continue or escalate…
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the cost of homelessness that no one talks about
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1–2 minutesone thing that no one ever talks about homelessness is how it changes your relationship with permanence and “stuff and things” as i like to call it. having been functionally homeless for most of my adult life (my housing was based mostly on interdependence or good will, meaning my housing was always in someone else’s…
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why i’m recovery neutral-apathetic
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6–9 minuteswhen people hear “recovery neutral” or “recovery apathetic” they immediately assume that the person means that they simply don’t want to get better or maybe that they actively want to worsen their disorders. however, in my experience, those who are against recovery usually aren’t against it for flippant reasons. most of the people i’ve met…
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the unspoken question behind self-harm
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2–3 minutesi began self-harming in infancy, before i could speak. before i could conceptualise what self-harm meant, my body and nervous system were already primed to receive regulation in the form of pain. this trend continued as i got older and did escalate slightly from hitting and biting to cutting, but the key factor is that…
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this blog and its author are not pro-self-harm or pro-eating disorder (but also not pro-recovery and that’s okay too)
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3–4 minutesthis blog, as mentioned in the last post is going to start to contain a lot darker content than was previously put out on it. the transition from an evergreen computer blog to a personal disability narrative might be jarring, especially for people who end up on the blog from one of my evergreen posts.…
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in the spirit of making this feel more like a ‘mad hermit’s diary’
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1–2 minutesi’m going to just start posting, whenever, wherever. sticking to too rigid a structure for this blog sort of defeats its purpose as a living document regarding life as a disabled person in 2026 america. current narratives fail to centre actual disabled voices. they cast disability in a dichotomy of ‘pitiable’ or ‘inspiring’. there isn’t…
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tolerance break is… easier than i thought it would be
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3–5 minutesi’m two days off cannabis now, planning for an 8 week tolerance break to really downregulate those cb1 receptors because i don’t get high anymore, like at all, and it fucking blows. i know i’m a medical patient and so everyone expects me to be like “oh you know, i only use it for the…
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content warnings and faqs for this blog moving forward
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4–6 minutesso, as we approach the final date of the start of this project, i want to give everyone who’s been here the whole time (i know there’s a few of you and i have nothing but love for each and every one) a quick heads up since the content of this blog is going to…