i figured one thing that would be good for this blog is to really introduce myself and explain some of the purposes of this blog going forward. as mentioned before theres going to be a huge shift in what kind of stuff i post. the focus of this blog is going to be more on my disability journey and presenting a more grounded and realistic narrative of a disabled life in the modern united states of america. i think this overall project (which will hopefully include a few more creators at the time of the real launch) is especially important with the current administration aiming to roll back a lot of disability rights and their plans of gutting medicare and social security affect me deeply. thus i think it’s important to share a story about disability that drops the pretense of being “inspirational” or “pitiful” and just present… the reality.
so who am i and why should you care about my story? i wont pretend you should care. im just one person and if youd rather dismiss my experiences to maintain your fantasy about disabled dignity then thats entirely your right. but if youve ever wondered what a disabled life looks like not the tv version what a real disabled life looks like in all of its facets the good the bad and the ugly? stick around i’ve got stories for days.
you can call me 🩷🖤💜 or princess if you dont want to find the emojis. im 31 years old and im a disabled american living with complex health issues both psychiatric and physical. i take a handful of pills a couple of times a day just to make it from one hour to the next.
i wont pretend that every day is a struggle though i know that a lot of people would like me to do so. i have a lot of joy in my life especially from the few people that i am close to. but anyway lets talk about who i am.
im 🩷🖤💜 the system host of this osdd-1a system (officially dxd in 2012). this system has 14 members total and you may see posts and messages from other system members at times. the system is a little bit different from other systems that you might see on the internet. with osdd-1a theres less of a clean split between its different alters. instead of of all of its alters being fully formed and independent pieces the different alters more resemble different versions of the host rather than fully different people but we dont share memories and experience profound disabling dissociative amnesia. our personalities are more like snapshots of the hosts personality that were exaggerated into fully formed people than organically formed people. the members of the system though not fully independent in the same way as other systems do exercise a high amount of agency. thus theyd prefer to have control over if when and how they are introduced.
as far as things you should know about me we can start with explaining my diagnostic history as it stands. ill keep this list updated as i progress further in my disability journey. heres a list of the diagnoses i have and ones that im exploring with my team:
dx list:
adhd
schizophrenia spectrum – paranoid
generalised anxiety disorder
osdd-1a
panic disorder
ehlers-danlos syndrome type iii
chronic migraine with aura
low vision
other specified feeding or eating disorder
dermatillomania
suspected dxs:
autism
schizoid personality disorder
postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome
myalgic encephalitis/chronic fatigue syndrome
in my free time i like to play video games especially gacha games. i play a lot of ero-labs bl/yaoi games and hoyo games. ill play almost any gacha game if it has a roster of male characters for me to collect. the roster doesnt have to be huge (fuckin menless zone zero and chaos zero night with like 4 male characters collectively between them) but there has to be a male presence in the game for me to enjoy it.
currently i play the following gacha games
- granblue fantasy
- disney twisted wonderland
- nu carnival
- noctilucent before dawn
- what in hell is bad
- zerowake gates
- tears of themis
- genshin impact
- zenless zone zero
- honkai star rail
- isekai slow life
- punishing gray raven
- epic seven
- chaos zero nightmare
- afk journey
- afk arena
- x-samkok
- re valkyrie crusade
i also like mobas and play the following games competitively
- honor of kings (max rank master)
- mobile legends bang bang (max rank legend)
- pokemon unite (max rank master)
- league of legends (sometimes) (max rank gold)
- league of legends wild rift (max rank gold)
finally i like to play single-player games
- needy streamer overload
- hyperdimension neptunia
- doki doki literature club
- papers please
- party hard
- yonder the cloud catcher chronicles
- animal crossing
- pokemon
- story of seasons
other things im interested in
- sanrio
- linux
- freebsd
- foss
- programming
- machine learning
- computers
- building pcs
- sankuo
- neurotoxins & nerve agents
- divebomber aeroplanes
- aeroplanes and aircraft in general but especially military aircraft
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